Uugghh...

I woke up in the middle of the night with a ghastly stomach bug. I know throwing up sometimes can be relieving, but after a certain point in time, it's like WHAT'S LEFT TO THROW UP? My throat is still burning & it's been hours since I stopped getting sick. To put it not so eloquently: today is LAME.

Here's been my pattern of eating the last week. Breakfast: legit, Lunch: legit, Dinner: whatever. No wonder I haven't lost any more weight, but I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. Let's face it. I'm overcoming a life-long pattern of bad eating habits. I know on the weight loss TV shows they delve hard-core into "the perfect diet" but I've done that before, & every time I've backtracked. It's too hard. There is too much pressure. I cave. As it stands, I've messed up on a few meals. I've made a few exceptions but I haven't gained any weight back because even though I'm making bad nutritional choices, I'm still maintaining a healthy calorie count. Will I need to do better in the future? Absolutely. Have I done better in the past? Absolutely, but I know if I put myself down about either of these realities, I'm going to fail. Right now, I'm taking it one meal at a time & after about a month of efforts, I'm still going which is more than I can say for my last several attempts at weight loss.

Lately I've felt a bit judged. I'm certain intentions were correct & my emotional state skewed things a bit,   but I need support, not to be criticized. I know how to eat right. Don't we all when it really truly comes down to it? My problem lies not in motivation or knowledge. My problem lies in habit & emotion. Habits are hard to break & emotions hard to avoid. My typical coping mechanism for negative emotion is food, so attacking my less favorable food choices leads me to what? Oh yeah, negative emotion & therefore, more food....Praise me for my steps forward, but please, please don't criticize me for my little screw-ups. I do enough of that myself...

Today I feel: