This entry comes as somewhat of an apology, to myself & to those I love for curling inward during my darkest moments over the last few years instead of reaching out. It's hard to express what brought me to such a point, but if I ignored your calls or didn't answer your emails, truly it wasn't you. It was me.
Funny how a little illness changes your outlook on everything. I used to love cooking & I was pretty good at it to boot. In fact, Aaron says he fell in love with me because of my cooking. Regardless of whether that's true or not, there has been very little cooking in our 2 years of marriage. Not just heating up some mac&cheese or boiling a hot dog, of course there's been that, I mean real authentic cooking. Oh I get to it when I feel up to it, but that's not very often - maybe 4 meals of actual cooking a week. I feel like I've failed in my wifely duties. Some days I wonder how Aaron hasn't gained weight with all the unhealthy things he's eaten with me these last 2 years. One day I know he will, when his metabolism catches up to him, & then I'll wish I'd fed him better, but I think I better do us both a service & go ahead & start.
I want to make a balanced meal plan, but I don't want to waste what's already in my kitchen & truthfully I don't know where to start. Which bring me to my next point-- WHY DON'T THEY TEACH THIS STUFF IN SCHOOL?!? I don't mean that food pyramid BS. You could show me that graph all day & I still wouldn't know how to actually translate it into the exact proportions I actually need for my body. I mean, have a child sit down & learn how to plan out & write down a balanced diet utilizing foods they like? Usually I'd say the place to learn primary functions like this is at home, but given the nation's current obesity level, I think we can rule out that option as being sufficient. If we could at least instill practical nutritional knowledge in our citizens, I'd say the government's got at least one thing right. Oh, & for goodness sake, this is a health blog. Don't turn it into a political discussion. Just let me have my own opinion on my own little blog space. My point is basically this - while I don't blame my own obesity on anyone but myself, I feel my decisions could have been more informed & I certainly hope my children's will be even more so. My second point is: I DON'T KNOW HOW to PLAN MY OWN MEALS! Thus far I've only gotten frustrated with websites & their pre-made plans because it means I have to restock my entire pantry when I just went shopping. Other sites I have to already know what I want & just enter it in when gosh, I know how to type a spreadsheet already. I just don't know how to adequately fill this one in! A little help would be MUCH appreciated.
ALSO, today I am feeling:
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