What's This All About?

So, some might think, "Jenny, you already have a blog. Why Another?" My answer is: "It's necessary." What weighs on me more than anything is the status of my health. In the last 5 years I've been diagnosed with 5 new chronic diseases. In the last 3 years, I've gained 65 lbs giving me a BMI of 39.1. That's obesity, my friends, plain & simple. For me to be in the normal range, I would have to lose 115 lbs. This is not just about being normal or feeling good about myself though. 
If I don't change my lifestyle & lose weight, it's a guaranteed certainty I that:

• I will develop type 2 diabetes
• My liver function will continue to decrease & eventually cause cirrhosis
• My psoriatic arthritis will continue to flair & make mobility increasingly difficult
• My GERD & Gastroparesis will damage my esophageal lining
• My menses will never be regulated
• I am at high risk to develop heart disease, high blood pressure, metabolic syndrome, etc
• & The most painful of these consequences: I might never conceive

It's embarrassing to think that most of my medical problems are self induced. It's embarrassing to think that I would never have made it to this point with 7 diagnosed diseases if I could just control my eating habits & exercise more. I can't give you enough words to describe the levels of anxiety & shame that arise when I face this reality, but these images speak to that part of me:

If there is one thing I hope to accomplish with keeping this blog, it's to get support. I have proven time & time again that I am not capable of handing my diet & motivating myself to eat well on my lonesome. Words of encouragement have not been enough either. I think what I need is both self-accountability & inspiration from others working in conjunction towards the common goal of health. I've said it so many times in the last 5 years, but I'm tired of feeling lost & I'm tired of feeling tired & I 'm tired of letting my body control me. I want my life back. I want my body back. I want my cherished aspirations to include health & fitness & general well-being & I want my aspirations of health to become my reality. I know I'm going to fail. I know I'm going struggle, but eventually I also know, I am going to succeed because there has to be another option than just watching my body & in consequence, my life fall to shambles. I won't accept that as an option any longer.